I've been a bartender, server, restaurant manager, sales rep, hypnotherapist, Reiki practitioner and teacher, esthetician, a customer service specialist in a natural skin care company -- and my latest and longest-held incarnation has been as a spiritual growth mentor and coach for the last 18 years.
In the last 25 years, I've achieved mastery at reinventing myself.
But there's been a common denominator to all of this. I had to reinvent myself out of necessity so I could have my basic needs met.
I needed to pay bills, pay off debt, pay rent, feed myself. My main concern was basic day to day survival. For a long time, it seemed like a luxury to think about getting more out of life than just getting my basic needs met.
But when I really started to think about how many times I was able to completely shift roles, shift my focus, learn something new, master a new skill, and quite often change my identity or reality to suit my environment, I thought to myself, "If I can do this because I HAVE to, why can't I do this because I WANT to?"
I realized I could reinvent myself from a place of inspiration instead of desperation.
I could use all of my acquired skills, insight and wisdom from re-imagining myself (and sometimes my entire identity) to not just choose a new profession, but rather to choose myself. I could choose an entirely new personal reality of my own design and live it to the fullest.
I could and would choose who I truly wanted to be-- someone who doesn't have to be defined by a role or some identity template of society that deems me acceptable only if I show up everyday and manage the expectations of others.
Up until that point of self-realization, I'm not sure whose life I was living. All I knew was that it was NOT even close to my ideal.
In this post, I aim to make a case for self-reinvention and WHY it is the imperative set before us as women.
When I work with female clients and I listen to them speak about the limits they feel are placed on them: the confining reality of their everyday lives, the distress and dread that grips them when it comes to asking for, or feeling worthy of receiving more than what they need to just get by, the insecurity of trying to navigate in a world of very confusing and mixed massages about who they are or who they should be as women, a powerful image comes to mind.
I often envision a caged tiger, pacing its enclosure. Trapped.
The bars of confinement in this enclosure are not the fixed limits that these women perceive are placed on them by society as a whole, rather they are a collection of their fears-- the fear of having too much of anything, mistrust of and disbelief in their own power, gifts and abilities, fear of the responsibility of living as their ideal self, fear of not knowing how to create or sustain their ideal life; and if they are successful in this endeavor, they suffer from the worry that it will all somehow be taken away from them.
I often ask my clients, "What do you really want?"
They are adept at explaining in great detail all of the things they no longer want, but often there's a prolonged silence before they can articulate clearly what it is they do really want.
This is not OK.
So these amazing women, ripe with unrealized potential, have historically retreated to "business as usual". In the past, they would continue to buy into the lie and the illusion of limitation that had swindled them out of a lifetime's worth of the big, bold dreams that they've been too scared to realize, verbally express, or even fantasize about.
As women, we've also become so overwhelmed by how much work there is yet to do-- for ourselves, for society as a whole, for the planet, for our children, for the animals, that we opt to marinate in the same pool of perceived powerlessness and we often do nothing.
This is simply unacceptable.
"Business-as-usual" is very costly to humanity as a whole.
When we rest on the laurels of the status-quo, we arrest the process of innovation.
We don't move forward. Creative ideas are on pause.
Without the collective feminine contribution to the forward positive momentum of humanity, we are ensuring that the balance is skewed toward the hyper-masculine paradigm of world order that is long overdue for a reset.
Aggression, oppression, domination, overt violence, competition and separation will continue to reign supreme if we continue to sit on our hands and expect someone else to step up and wear the mantle of thought-leader or way-shower.
Balancing the scales towards a more egalitarian society is an inside job.
Restoring harmony and flow to a hyper-masculine paradigm that is off the rails in so many ways is a charge, a sacred task, and a divine duty that must now be entrusted to the women and men in our society who have a healthy and balanced inner and outer expression of the qualities of the divine masculine and the divine feminine respectively.
Balance and integrity must be restored to the planet.
Humanity's current collective worldview is not self-sustaining. If we believe in a greater destiny for humanity, our future society is one that requires innovation and fresh ideas that create a higher vision for All.
Executing that vision requires that we, as women, show up in the world with a bigger, bolder vision for ourselves and all of humanity. We are charged with the task of transforming ourselves and the world while channeling the highest and most altruistic human expressions of compassion, kindness, understanding and equality.
With this, we prepare the fertile ground that will give birth to a whole new paradigm of prosperity for all.
But we must correct the inner imbalance first.
Truth is, as women we have mastered the art of reinventing ourselves to match or meet the fixed limits of our society so that we can just get by with what we need. We've been well-groomed over thousands of years to be able to do this. We've also been able to do it in the midst of one particular very mixed message.
Be everything but act like it's nothing.
This is a mentality that has been imposed on us for far too long. This very limiting and confusing identity has not only given us one hell of a personality crisis, but it has also shaped our lives in some very unhealthy ways.
This limiting identity feels something like...... be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect employee, lover, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend-- but be content and satisfied with little or no acknowledgement, recognition or praise for it. In fact, you're not doing enough. Do more. But try to take up as little space and resources as possible as you're doing it, don't complain, don't ask for more than what you absolutely need and don't call too much attention to yourself either.
We should be so lucky to have the freedom to strive for perfection in the service of others, right?
As I write this, I'm surprised at how much this hits home for me, for many women I know personally, and for many of my clients as well.
Those who are willing and able to reinvent themselves as the need arises are the ones who will save the world.
So how do we do it?
We must learn how to enact our inner ideal of greatness so we can embody and exhibit the highest expressions of courage, confidence, self-possession, fearlessness, innovation, creativity, inspiration, sovereignty, autonomy, kindness and compassion.
When we individually and collectively showcase these high-value, altruistic traits and lead by example, we become an unshakeable and uncompromising force for positive change in the world.
We must get really comfortable with personal transformation. In fact, we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable as we do this. We are wired to resist change and the unfamiliar. It is imperative that we learn how to gracefully find our flow and sync-up with the forward momentum of such a fast-paced, ever-changing world.
Simply put, we can't keep being who we've been. Our current systems and models of reality are dismantling and dissolving. In other words, the version of you that you needed to be in that reality is not strong enough to ride the wave of expanded energies that are continuing to grace us here on Mothership Earth.
We will not survive the wake of increasingly powerful, soul- awakening, ego-shattering energies presenting themselves to us if we continue to sit on our hands and pretend there isn't anything left for us to do other than admit defeat and say we "don't know" what else to do.
We will not survive if we resign ourselves to the belief that our destiny is predetermined by some unseen external force that is more powerful than the higher intelligence that dwells within us.
We are the Creators. We are the dreamers of our future. It's time to act accordingly- to take deliberate and bold action and assume control of our fate.
It is imperative that we boldly step outside of the fear that it is not safe to have more than enough of what we need.
Right now, many women are craving the ability to make a greater impact in their lives and the lives of others.
When we move beyond the constant state of struggle, where we have just our basic needs met, only then are we supported enough to focus on the creative and inspired pursuit of creating an impact in the world.
When we have more than enough of everything we need and that becomes our new normal, we can step into increasingly expanded possibilities for experiencing greatness.
When we are fortified by radical self-acceptance of our worth and value, we become an immovable force that is impervious to anything outside of us that can detract from or diminish our quality of life. We stop feeling the irrational dread and panic that what we have lovingly created and built can be taken away from us.
In truth, we have more to fear from our own un-examined, subconsciously held beliefs about lack and unworthiness. Our ability to sabotage something good in our lives because it feels too big or great is a far bigger threat than any unseen hand taking away our good fortune. Anything that reeks of too-muchness in our lives-- too much money, too much love, too much time, or too much freedom has the potential to derail our success and forward path if we are unable to feel safe and completely comfortable with the notion of having more than enough of what we need in all areas of our lives.
It is time to stop marinating in the negative core emotions that have been the driving force in our lives up until now.
When we are marinating in deep, core emotions of anger, resentment, blame, frustration, lack, guilt, shame and unworthiness, we are languishing in a survival state. Here, we only know conflict.
These negative core emotions have shaped us in countless ways and have created our worldview. It has created conflict, torment and confusion within us for years.
When our core negative emotions are unacknowledged and are not properly released, it creates a widening gap between who we have been up until now out of necessity, and who we deeply desire to be, deliberately.
The conflict we feel from desiring to be the bold new version of self making an impact in the world while still thinking, feeling and acting as the old version of self puts us in a place where we can't see beyond our problems.
To say it another way, we are not solution-oriented because we are in a survival state of consciousness. Living in stress (conflict) keeps us programmed and concerned only for basic survival. This is not a creative state. We are not inspired, inventive, or full of fresh ideas. We are just managing a crisis.
If we stay in this space for too long, we get frustrated, desperate, anxious, overwhelmed and defeated.
We say we don't know. A lot.
We can no longer say we don't know how to make the shift into a more desirable way of being. Our task is too great, our mission as women is too important to just leave it at that. Not knowing how to transform on your own is our cue to find a mentor- someone who has reinvented herself, knows what steps to take, can teach you what she knows and is actively pursuing her ideal, dream life.
As women, we must learn how to become Masters of Reinvention.
We can no longer be afraid of what feels too big. A greater expression of self will only and ever feel too big if we are playing too small.
Our world is changing quickly.
We are getting called into the adventure of life in new ways all the time.
We are crying out for inspiration on how to make a bigger mark in this world, to carve out our slice of paradise, and to live beyond our dreams.
Begin stepping toward your new destiny now.
Figure out what YOU really want.
Vow to clear the negative core emotions that keep you living as the old you, whatever it takes.
What will support you and make YOU happy?
What will fill up your cup, your human vessel, so that it runs over with more than enough of what you need in order to make the real change and impact you wish to see in the world?
Kathryn Mussell is a Spiritual Growth Mentor who helps women to reinvent themselves and transform their entire way of being to experience more personal fulfillment, joy, creativity and prosperity.
Become the Creatrix is her signature program to help women realize the highest and best expressions of themselves now.
Her work integrates eighteen years of experience as a Master Energy Healer with Spiritual Mentoring and Mindset Coaching.
Find out more about Kathryn here:
Ascending Earth Creatrix Facebook page
The Abundant Intuitive Podcast
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